Can you honestly say you're a confident person? If you can, major props! Me on the other hand, I cannot. Ever since I can remember, I never felt as skinny or as pretty as some of my friends at school.
I grew up in LA, enrolled in private schools with kids who were already in film and television killing it at a super young age! That was the ultimate cool, and although I was comfortable on stage speaking to a large group, nothing was really at stake, it was just for some school event. The kids around me were doing it for money, and getting a lot of recognition nationally and beyond. People were talking about them, good and bad, and they weren't phased.
But I cared what people thought, I found myself crying one day at the MAC store in Beverly Hills while shopping for some cover up with my mom. I was probably around 14 years old, and I had just gotten tons of zits from hitting puberty (so humbling). I already felt ugly, so when the sales girl looked at me with a judgmental gaze filled with disinterest, my heart sank. Seems like a small incidence, but it and many other experiences like it had a lasting impact on me.
I began to care about whether I was sexy, if I looked like a model, if I was skinny enough, if I was wearing the right clothes, and if I was hanging out with the right people. I hated that my family didn't have the money my friends with giant mansions had, with a luxury car of their own and designer label clothes. But I did my best to fit in...
Sound familiar to you? It's an all too common experience for many young girls growing up (possibly boys), and it's taken me 20 years and counting to: (1) become aware of it; (2) learn to find confidence in healthy ways (sorry anorexia, sex, booze and retail therapy don't count); and (3) begin to change my self-limiting behavior. Yes, at 34, I am still working on finding more confidence, and here's a few ways that have helped:
DREAM - I love to dream of the future, be creative and bring inspiration to life. Dreaming is hands down the best place to start. When you embark on something that you envisioned and want to bring it to fruition, it lights you ablaze and your confidence kicks in.
EXERCISE - Yes, sounds corny, but when you feel strong and capable, it's invigorating. Sure it's work, that's why they call it a workout! Even feeling sore the next day, it's a reminder that I worked on building my physical confidence, and that fills me with pride.
POSTURE - This is a huge one! Even though thoughts may pass behind our eyes, and we believe no one is aware of how we feel inside, our posture and body language are a huge tell. Change your posture, change your life! Looking back at photos from less confident times in my life, I was slouched, maybe with some extra weight oddly distributed across my body.
KM is a manifestation of these tools that I so happily want to share with you. In fact, I wasn't confident anyone would find interest in a method that asks you to be so aware of your physical body. But I see now that many have enjoyed KM in the past 4-1/2 years of its continued development, changing their bodies in a healthy way that heals and protects. This makes me smile because I know that I've been able to impart the most important thing to your confidence...
AWARENESS - Your mind is more powerful then you might surmise. If you have the ability to learn how your body works, become aware of it, and learn how to operate it in the most useful way, well then you have awareness. And that awareness can extend to your thoughts: how you view others; how you view yourself; what self-limiting beliefs you hold true to your current state of mind; what you've dedicated your life to; and how you impact your community both locally and globally.
If you look at your life through these four concepts, what do you begin to see? Have you lost interest? Is your physical body deteriorating? Are your relationships toxic? Is there hate and sadness surrounding you? Is everything a struggle?
It's ok, I believe it's all part of harnessing a more confident self. These experiences will help you discover that the only one who can give you confidence is you! Sometimes we have a life altering experience, sometimes we hit rock bottom, sometimes there's no one there to pick up the pieces but you. In the end, be willing to discover more about yourself and how potent you really are.
The world is an atrocious place with so much hate, destruction, disregard, carelessness and greed. It need not be though, so much of what we have today, we've never had before. Someone in a garage dreamt up a computer and then built it, the same can be said for whatever dreams you have, may they be healthy and helpful to you, our planet and humanity!
Are you dreaming of a more confident you now? I hope so! I hope you go out and manifest her/him, s/he's dying to get out!
Let me know what gives you confidence. Do any of the 4 ways I've built my confidence resonate with you? Share with me below in the comments, let's get the conversation started!